An emotional Gary Woodland revealed a diagnosis of post-traumatic stress disorder Monday ahead of THE PLAYERS Championship, saying he is still grappling with the aftermath of his 2023 brain surgery, but is determined to stop hiding the reality of his recovery.

“I can’t waste energy anymore hiding this, and I’m blessed with a lot of support out here on the TOUR,” Woodland said. “Everyone’s just been amazing. Every week I come out and everyone’s so excited and happy that I’m back. I hear that every week — it’s so nice to see you past this, it’s so nice to see you 100 percent — and I appreciate that love and support. But inside, I feel like I’m dying, and I feel like I’m living a lie.”

In an interview with Rex Hoggard that aired Monday night on Golf Channel, Woodland said he received the formal PTSD diagnosis about a year ago but continues to struggle with the mental and emotional toll following surgery to remove a brain lesion in 2023. The procedure marked the beginning of a long recovery for the four-time PGA TOUR winner, who returned to TOUR competition in January 2024.

But his return has been anything but business as usual. Woodland, the 2019 U.S. Open champion, recounted an experience from the FedExCup Fall that demonstrated the despair he’s felt since his return and described a round while competing in Napa, California, when symptoms suddenly overwhelmed him on the course.

“I was hypervigilant,” Woodland said, calling out a common trait associated with PTSD. “A walking scorer startled me, got close to me from behind. I pulled my caddie and said, ‘You can’t let anybody get behind me.’ Next thing you know, I couldn’t remember what I was doing. My eyesight started to get blurry.”

Standing in the fairway, Woodland said he felt unable to continue.

“It was my turn to hit and I couldn’t hit,” he said. “Butch (caddie Brennan Little) said, ‘Let’s go in.’ I said, ‘No man, I’m here for these guys. I want to fight through this.’”

He finished the round but said the emotional toll lingered.

“I went into every bathroom to cry the rest of the day,” Woodland said. “When I got done, I got in my car and got out of there. There are days when it’s tough – crying in the scoring trailer, running to my car just to hide it. I don’t want to live that way anymore.”

Since then, Woodland said the PGA TOUR has worked with him to put security protocols in place that help him feel safer on the course.

“The more we learn, the more we’re able to put protocols in place to help me. But it’s been a journey,” he said.

Part of that journey has been understanding that the anxiety and hyper-awareness he experiences are common for someone who has endured neurological trauma. Still, Woodland hopes his willingness to continue competing might offer encouragement to others battling similar struggles.

“I hope somebody that’s struggling sees me out here still fighting and battling and trying to live my dreams,” Woodland said. “I’ve talked to veterans, and one thing I’ve heard from multiple people is you can’t do this on your own, no matter how strong you think you are.”

Woodland, who finished 90th in the FedExCup Fall, has made five starts this season but reached the weekend just twice as he continues balancing competition with recovery. Continuing to compete on TOUR has not been easy, he admitted, but it remains central to who he is.

“This is my dream,” Woodland said. “I have a lot of fight in me and I’m not going to let this thing win. But it’s been hard.”

The journey has also taken a toll on those closest to him.

“This has been harder on my family and my team because they just want to help,” Woodland said. “They want to make it go away, and that’s not how this battle goes. But their love and support is what’s gotten me through it.”

Support from fellow players has also been crucial. Woodland said being around teammates during the Ryder Cup provided one of the few moments where he felt completely comfortable.

“I didn’t have to hide it,” he said. “I could be myself.”

Despite doctors suggesting that avoiding high-stress environments might be ideal, Woodland said stepping away from competition was never seriously considered.

“In an ideal world I’m probably not playing,” he said. “But in an ideal world I don’t have this. This is my dream.”

By speaking publicly, Woodland said he hopes to free himself from the exhausting effort of pretending everything is fine while continuing to chase the career he has built over nearly two decades. Ultimately, he hopes his journey might resonate beyond golf.

“I want to live my dreams and be successful out here,” Woodland said. “But I want to help people, too. I realize now I’ve got to help myself first – and hopefully this is the first step in doing that.”